Just my thoughts#1

Hello everybody before we start I would like to let you know this is a space where I will be sharing my thoughts on several topics and explain my reasoning, I want this to be a space where you can share your thoughts and we can expand our consciousness together

First Ill start by clarifying my perspective, so that you can understand better where I am coming from, I am 20 soon to be 21, and currently not studying or working, I left my studies abroad and came back home due to mental health, I was going for a banking and finance degree in Italy my father’s home country now this was back in 2019 way before the pandemic, so everything was still faitìrly standard and normal as we used to know it, I did all the paperwork needed and the tests to enter my career and it all went pretty well, but I was going through all of this while having never said anything about my mental health to anyone, and the man thing that cause me to not be well where the types of questions I would ask myself, I never really had any sort of dream I never wanted anything really I was mainly doing things cause I had to, not cause I was forced and not cause im ungrateful to what my family could provide but because I had to live, but I always wondered why? Why do I have to study? So that i can get a degree? and to what end? to get a regular job, to be able to have some sort of income, yes nut why, I dont really find any particular value in money, and I undertsand how that can be a little disconnected from reality because there is a lot of people out there who would do anything for the opportunity to study and specially now days there are a lot of people that would do anything for a job, and I understood this and instead of helping me appreciate what I have and keep going and pursue more I kept wondering why, why is ith that there are so many people that would do anything for what I have an yet I dont want it, how does this make any sense? And so I starrted wondering well what things drive people to this, and first I thought money of course, it is the basis of our modern society its literally needed in order to acquiere food which is something we all need to survive, then sure it allows you to do things that you like, it allows you to be more independant and so much more right? I struggled with this thought first cause I found money meaningless, its just numbers or just pieces of paper and it causes so much suffering, sure one person with way more money than the other was way more power but why, what is power and what does it mean, why would you want to be more powerful than someone else, why is it that we need to constantly struggle and fight for something that doesnt mean anything well most of us do it because we have to survive, take care of our families and such, but there are others thay do it because of raw greed, because they want more material things, because they want to feel they are better than others some even horde it with millions to spare and they dont even use it they just want to have it. Now the only thing that made sense to me is of course you would work countless hours to maintain your family, you love them they are a part of you, but how come we have built a system where evene when you work as hard as you can its never enough, well I have to pay the house, i have to pay for its services, i have to pay for food, i have to pay for a car if i am able to afford one if not then I have to pay for transport in some way, I have to pay taxes and many other things and then you find yourself in this loop where you are working endlessly, cause it is never enough, and yeah maybe your job allows you to save up and travel when you are on vacation and maybe buy nice things for yourself but to what end, to just keep going, to keep surviving but in a more fancy way? And what about those that dont struggle that have a nice job which is able to afford them a nice house a nice life a nice car, whatever they want and more, do their lives have any meaning, to them yes of course but on a broader scale, they are literally the same as anybody else, just a guy or a gal that when compared in a planetary level is exactly the same as any other, just one more in the system, just one more that will perish and take nothing with him when he goes, just one more in billions, and this is fine for most people, you can argue well i am fine so whats wrong with that, and there is asbolutely nohting wrong with that expect for the fact that nothing you are doing right now will really matter in the next 50 years after your death or even sooner, what did you leave behind maybe a happy family but you are just making your kids loop back into the same system you did, and when they die what did their lives mean, you see this is my point, that they will find their path, they will go out with their lives, they might even love their jobs and fulfill their dreams and thats fantastic, im not discouraging anyone from following there dreams, im just pondering on those of us that dont have any, what about us that beleive that this system is flawed, do we have an alternative do we have another option or do we all just have to follow the flow. Of course no one has to do anything and we are all free to do whatever we want, but there are lots of us that find no purpose or meaning in what some might call normal or even a happy life

Im gonna leave this here for now, i will be writing more, and I came here because there are a lot of thoughts I have that keep me up at night, and I just want to leave them out there for anyone, I know this my be a little sloppy but I would appreciate it if you have any feedback, positive or negative I always like to hear every perspective because every human has its own value and each opinion can be used to build one another, and I dont want to start any argument I just want us to think and to be more conscious on this life we have, learn from eachother and grow as individuals

Thank you